Existence
by Asami Chiharu
Summary: "I want to die." A relatively normal girl has thoughts about suicide but values her family more. With renewed resolve, she vows to herself to be better. Only to die and find herself in a dark place where there was nothing but blackness and strangely found a little girl crying, claiming she was lost. She helps her, then finds herself opening her eyes to find out she was reborn(?)


A/N: Uhh… Forgive me? E-ehehehe… ^^;;;… Uh, my drive for Ita-kun has been dwindling… Aaaand was steering towards KHR… And angst… I guess. I've been reading all these reincarnated in KHR stuff like an obsessed otaku that wants… Wait, I am one already.  
/*sigh* Anyway, I don't own anything, except the plot and the OC.

Prologue

 ** _"I want to die."_**

That was the thought running through her head ever since she had one of the recent ' _talks'_ with her— _relatives_ —she spat inside her head as she rolled her eyes.

She was a relatively normal seventeen (turning eighteen) year old girl, with a normal family and a normal lifestyle. Well, okay, having a not-normal-lifestyle is already normal. All the crime, drugs, incest, and stuff comingaround, you'd honestly  
think ahundred times to find what's normal, _and mean 'normal'_ as in meaning the happy family that people always depicts in advertisements. Well, if there was a familylike thatwhere moms and dads unite (pfft), and their kids being obedient,then _that_ is  
likethose fairytale stories that has happily ever after in them. (Heck, even fangirling isn't normal because people call it obsessing or in a state of mental overload of something you like and just squeal unconsciously…

Well according to the internet, it said that: an obsessive female fan, especially of something technological or from popular culture. Hmph. Truer words were never spoken.) And hey, even anime isn't perfect. So that counts assomething right?

So, no family is supposed to be perfect. Because they are imperfect, it makes them what they are—different from the other families that differentiate themselves to others. It may be a good thing or a bad thing; who knows?

Point is, the status that people want other people to see is perfection. So when someone in their circle— _or family or relative I might add_ , relatives that want to look good say all the good stuff to your face while involuntarily, they spat their  
wordsat youfor being a failure all the while comparing you to the well-off ones (meaning, their kids. Psh, man). Then there's also the type where relatives sympathize with you, which actually they **_pity_** you in your  
predicament. Yeah, yeah... That's _okay_ …

 ** _Ugh_** _. Such gibberish._

 ** _Pity_** , is such a ** _foul_** word. To the point it makes her puke if it was a pukable thing. (Is there even a word 'pukable'?)

She **doesn't** need **_pity_** …

Well, from them. They tell her to 'be herself' or do what you really want and all that—but how do you know what you want when you don't know what you really am?

Accountancy is a lost cause. That much she knows. She just wants them to understand that it is not her calling… That she wants to find herself first rather that push her towards what they want. That she wants to know her true self, because she has been  
/given littletime to discover what truly makes her, herself.

She has always been unmotivated, lazy, no goals in life (if she wasn't going to school she'd be officially a bum… Heck Shikamaru has an occupation as a ninja, so he's no bum), and if you'd call 'staying-at-home-all-the-time-but-each-month-cash-that-sustains-your-everday-living-magically-appears'  
/agoal then… okay(?), but she was always manages to stay as one of the smart, nerdy kind that-looks-as-if-they're-studious-but-aren't in high school so that really says something for her intellect part.

Her looks… Well, her mom and dad have good looks (that's an understatement) thanks to good genes. Of course, naturally she has that. Chest… 40C-cup… Not that bad eh? (Not that bad my ass!) Aside for her chubbiness due to laziness, overall she is good-looking.

The only thing she was interested in was her friend and anime. She was a very proud otaku.

Naruto, One Piece, One Punch Man to frigging Pretty Cure she's got them. Well you get the point.

But there was one anime that totally stuck with her through and through.

Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

All the madness and weirdness, it's there. But, it never fails to calm her at her lowest point in her life. It is the one thing she has that keeps her from breaking.

She's always wondered what it would be like if she lived in an anime.

Seeing Tsunayoshi try his best even though he's clumsy, people accept him. Well, except for the bullies 'cause they're plain mean, but what counts were his friends. He understood them; and them to him. She wanted someone to accept her. Like Tsunayoshi.

Okay. Getting off track here.

She's thought about running across the road while a truck was zooming, jump off the school building, slashing he wrists, choking herself, drowning herself, banging her head on the cemented wall, hanging herself and many more. But one thing always flashes  
/throughher mind whenever she was about go through the act: her parents. Her younger sister. _Her family._

To her, family is the most important thing in the world. To the point where she would offer her life for them.

For one, her parents understand to the point that she feels guilty and she berates herself for being a failure of a daughter. She had a scholarship and it slipped through her fingers. She had everything and she just carelessly wielded all her assets,  
/reaching apoint of no return. She understands that. And she's willing to make it right. But she's also scared. Scared of what might other people say; what they would do, even though she keeps on saying to her family (and herself), that she doesn'tcare;  
/she does.

She has this guilt of even attempting suicide as her parents brought her to this world when she's just thinking of throwing away. Here, there's no Tsunayoshi to stop her. Here, there was no dying will flame. Only herself.

 _Here, it is_ _ **suffocating.**_

 ** _I want to die._**

 ** _I don't want this anymore…_**

Expectations. Pity. Facades. _Hypocrites._ This world, is reality. Her reality.

Huh. If you look at it this way, it would seem that Byakuran would have had a point gotten across her. Well, he was speaking the truth. (If it were me, I might end up like him. But it doesn't change the fact I like Tsunayoshi. Heheheh. Maybe because I'm  
/biased?)

She is thankful for her family, not relatives, for bringing her and raising her in this world. And she would try her best to repay them. She would, even if it means facing her demons. She would try her best for them.

With newfound although shaky resolve, she was determined to make things right for her family as she was the firstborn. Baby steps. Eventually, she'll get there.

Only…

Eventually didn't come.

 _…She died._

~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~(^0^)~

...Dimly, she remembered being hit by a freaking swerving _truck,_ and that currently she was _dead_. Well, she thinks she's dead. It'd be a miracle if she were in a coma or something.

She wasn't in Heaven or Hell that's for sure... Looking around her, all she saw was nothingness. Black void. Never ending darkness and no sign of life or light anywhere... Just black.

She started walking, down a path (when did that get there?) to which she just kept following it until she came upon a sound of crying.

She was startled and tried to find the source of sound. When she did, she saw a little girl on the side of the path far north.

She was crouching down, rubbing her eyes, when she looked up at her.

Her tear stained cheeks, her glistening blue eyes, her small (tattoo?) flower under her left eye and cutely shaped face made the teenager stop.

Where had she seen her before?

 _"Dare nano?" Who are you?_ the little girl asks. Her eyes wary, she rubs her eyes as she felt herself tearing up.

"I'm... " Who was she again? "I'm Beatrice." Yes, that was her name. She looked at the little girl. "Why are you crying?" She asked as she kneeled down, smoothing her hair as she enveloped her arms around the vulnerable girl. "Shhh... It's okay..."

Vaguely she realized that the girl was talking in Japanese and her auto-translate brain (due to countless of anime that she watched) her mouth began to auto-Japanese too.

 _"M-Michi ga mayotta... Kaeritai... Watashi no Okaa-san ni aitai..." I-I'm lost..._ she had sobbed in her chest. _I want to go back home... I want to see my Okaa-san..._

Beatrice felt she needed to help her... She wanted to help her. She hadn't gotten lost before so she wouldn't know, but if it were her and she got lost... She would need someone to help her. And hopefully someone nice.

Determined to help her (even if she herself didn't know what to do or had any idea where they were), she pulled away from her enough to see her face and brushed her tears and smiled. " _Zettai daijobu dayo ojou-chan. Kitto atashitachi wa michi ga mitsukaru kara, mou nakanaide."_

 _Everything is going to be all right little girl. I'm sure we'll find a way, so don't cry anymore._

The little girl smiled, still teary. _"Arigatou, Onee-chan..." Thank you big sis..._

They both stood up and walked holding hands, following the path yet again. They were both silent, but were oddly comfortable with each other.

The path had suddenly separated and they were stuck. Beatrice saw a light on the right path, and something inside her told her that she was supposed to go there. Instinctively, she looked at the little girl.

She was looking at the left and gazed up at her. " _Kocchi da to omou no." I think it's this way._ she said, pointing at the left.

Beatrice hummed. "I see. But it seems that I'm supposed to go right."

The little girl looked stricken and scared, looking at her path, gripping her hand tighter. " _WWakarimashita... Gomewaku nante shitakunai desu..." Okay. I-I don't want to trouble you..._

"No. I'm coming with you." Beatrice declared. Truthfully she was scared as well, however the child must be more scared than her. There was no way she was leaving her alone.

The relief and gratitude on her face spoke volumes of what she was feeling. A genuine smile crept upon her face and it was blinding.

They walked on the left path, when she remembered she hadn't asked her name yet. "By the way, I haven't caught your name yet."

Still smiling, she said. _"Watashi no namae wa..." My name is..._

And blinding light suddenly came, and the little girl was still forming her name.

Then black. Darkness. The void. AGAIN.

Seriously.

But there was something different about this void.

She was being pushed. (It certainly feels like it but _ugh)_

What was this uncomfortable feeling? Sucked out?

 _PLOP._

Omygog _shudder_ whatinblazes-

She was disoriented, everything was woozy-undescribable-ugh...

She didn't eve care about the frenzy the people around her was under.

Then she was slapped. On. The. Butt. _The hell?!_

"WAAAAAAAAHH!" she cried out.

That hurt! Her fresh baby butt was still very sensitive!

Wait. _What?_

Everybody relaxed after hearing her cries, when she was cleaned and was passed over to a warmer and cozier embrace.

Her voice was soothing and she shushed her. "It's okay Yuni... _Okaa-san_ is here."

 _Huh?_

"Aria-sama, please rest-" And she had tuned down everything after hearing the warm person's name. She wasn't stupid. This was Aria. As in _Aria of the Gigilionero Famiglia_. And she was called _Yuni_. It all clicked. The little kid crying,herfeatures...  
/Oh sweet _mother_ of- "UWAAAAAAH! UWAAAAHHH!"

Immense guilt. Frustration. Confusion. All these wrecked through her tiny body and she cried while Aria just continued to rock and kiss her.

 _She_ didn't deserve this. _She_ wasn't her daughter. _She_ was a thief! She was scared! These were real people! She can't- She must not- She-

"It's okay Yuni... Okaa-san will protect you."

 _Just what had she just gotten into?_


End file.
